Ask the LifeQuake Doctor – Sep/Oct 2013

Autumn will be here soon. As a therapist who has specialized in helping people move through their fear of change without turning to addiction and create a life that is more authentic, I love autumn. Nature gives us the wonderful display of the death-rebirth process. As leaves are dying they turn such magnificent colors. When we recognize that a part of us is dying or needs to die so we can evolve, there is this amazing opportunity to explore and excavate parts of ourselves we have disowned that may be quite colorful, if allowed to come out and find full expression.

Happy autumn to all my readers.

Dear Dr. Toni:
I enjoy reading your column, and I’ve been thinking about my situation for years now, so I finally decided to ask you. Whenever someone asks you about relationships, I wonder why I don’t want one. I don’t even have a close friend, and I’m happiest when I’m alone. But I get along well with people at work, even with someone who’s considered difficult to be around, and I enjoy being around them. But when I’m not working, I want to be alone. I never feel lonely or bored. I don’t even own a television.  

I don’t spend much time on the Internet either, except for e-mailing and my activities as an online activist (mostly environmental), which is my main focus in life. Do you think it’s healthy to live this way, without social activity? I truly do not enjoy being around others much.  

Also, there is another thing I wanted to ask you about. I get very irritated when strangers look at me. Every time I catch myself getting angry, I tell myself that there is no reason to get irritated and it’s rude to think this way. But my reaction never changes, and I don’t like myself when this happens. Are these related? I have been trying to work on both things, but I am not getting anywhere. Do you have any thoughts you can share with me on this? Thank you so much for your time, Dr. Toni. You indicated that you are also a Jungian-based astrologer, so I am sending my birth information as well.  

– Happy Alone  

Dear Reader:
Interesting. In my early training in Jungian analysis and other psychodynamic disciplines, all the reasons for one’s psychological complexes were laid at the feet of the mother. When I started reading Jung in greater depth, I discovered that he saw that the planets in our galaxy also influenced human behavior in what we now know as electromagnetic fields.

Jung saw that there are archetypal energies that live within each of us, and that the planets in our galaxy also contain particular characteristics that imprint the human soul with these archetypes. Some people are naturally extroverts based on these imprints and some are introverts. You are an introvert with a passion for helping Mother Earth.

How astrology helps me as a therapist is that I don’t listen to the symptoms that a patient is giving me based on traditional clinical diagnosis. I look at what this unique soul is here to learn and express. Your chart indicates a love of being at home and an advocacy for getting a message out around preserving our global home.

There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. However, what helps us evolve is the friction of “rubbing up against others,” so to speak. I would suggest you take your advocacy toward environmental causes and volunteer in person at a charity event or project in need of able-bodied people. Occasional social interaction that is purpose driven could help you get more comfortable with being out in the world, which your chart indicates you do need to do more.

You may find that by having real interaction with others, your discomfort with them looking at you will dissipate. Ex-monks and ex-nuns leaving monasteries sometimes experience this initially. And lastly, I would suggest you do some therapeutic work. Your chart also shows trauma in the emotional bonding experience with your mother. Yes, in your case, one of the roads does lead back to her.

All the best to you.

Have a question for the LifeQuake Doctor? You can contact her through [email protected].