Good Housekeeping just posted a terrific piece giving advice to mothers, titled, “5 Ways to Encourage Confidence in Your Daughter”
An important part of the message is that for women to consciously build confidence in their daughters, they also have to undo the messages they have bought into—self-defeating beliefs and behaviors I call toxic girly thoughts.
GH quotes a study by feminine-care brand Always that surveyed “more than 1,000 British females aged between 16 and 24 years old, and found that a staggering 66% reported feeling held back by society.”
Yes, by the time young women are spreading their wings, they feel society’s constraints. But the truth is, this begins much earlier and more innocently.
How Does It Happen?
Mothers learn what society expects and unconsciously teach their daughters to do the same. A mother’s actions are observed by her daughter, who then consciously or unconsciously models Mom’s behaviors.
Think you’re not guilty? Have you ever:
When we act on our toxic girly thoughts in front of our own daughters, we inadvertently teach them to do likewise, thereby carrying society’s message home to another generation.
What to Do?
Walk the walk, don’t just talk the talk. You are the most powerful example your daughter has. Listen to how you speak to yourself.
Then ask yourself, Is this how I want my daughter to speak to herself?
If not, then stop. Easy? No. But you’ll have lots of opportunity to practice saying no to your girly thoughts because these messages are all through society.
Once you stop acting on these disempowering and toxic messages, you will inspire confidence in your daughter, and at the same time, you’ll gain more confidence in yourself!
Remember, you’ll find more ideas for getting rid of your negative self-talk in my latest book, The Girly Thoughts 10-Day Detox Plan: The Resilient Woman’s Guide to Saying NO to Negative Self-Talk and YES to Personal Power